"My biggest takeaway has been gaining emotional intelligence, the ability to communicate better, and to more clearly see myself. I feel better as a human and husband/father."
Do Any of the Four Horsemen Make You Feel Incompatible with Your Partner?
Top 10 Most Influential Therapist and Co-Founder of the Gottman Institute, John Gottman uses this Four Horsemen metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to his research, can predict the outcome of a relationship.
Being able to identify these four areas in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to avoiding them, but the knowledge alone isn't enough. To make meaningful changes, the harmful communication habits need to be replaced with healthy, productive ones. Inside The Compatible Couple™ you'll use the Enneagram to help identify which Horsemen may be rearing their ugly heads in your relationship and, with professional guidance, practice shifting your communication and conflict resolution habits.
Criticizing your partner is different than offering a critique or voicing a complaint. The latter two are about specific issues, whereas the former is an attack on your partner at the core of their character. It make the partner on the receiving end feel assaulted, rejected, and hurt, often leading to respond with other Horsemen.
This Horseman is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about our partner that can lead to treating our partner with disrespect, mocking them with sarcasm, ridicule, calling them names, and mimicking or using body language such as eye-rolling or scoffing.
Contempt goes far beyond criticism. While criticism attacks your partner’s character, contempt assumes a position of moral superiority over them.
This one is a common response to criticism.
When we feel unjustly accused, we may fish for excuses and play the innocent victim so that our partner will back off.
Unfortunately, this strategy is almost never successful. Our excuses just tell our partner that we don’t take their concerns seriously and that we won’t take responsibility for our mistakes
This Horseman can appear when responding to contempt. A partner on the receiving end of contempt may withdraw from the interaction, shut down, and stop responding to their partner all together. Rather than confronting the issues with their partner, people who stonewall can make evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, acting busy, or engaging in obsessive or distracting behaviors.
a compatible couple
[a com·pat·i·ble cou·ple] noun
Both partners understand and accept each other's life philosophy and goals. They genuinely enjoy being around each other without feeling preoccupied by what they feel needs to change within their partner.Get Started
The intention of Enneagram coaching is to embrace your compatible couple potential.
You'll be able to better understand your partner's viewpoint, how you see the world - and what you might be missing.
A few examples of how Enneagram coaching can help in your relationship:
- Communicate more effectively, taking into account each others' communication styles and preferences
- Shed light on the specific triggers and patterns that lead to conflict within a relationship and develop strategies for resolving conflicts more constructively
- Foster empathy and a deeper appreciation for each other's strengths and vulnerabilities
- Highlight the potential imbalances within a relationship, such as one partner being overly focused on achievement while the other is more focused on security that may be leading to the same issues over and over
Help in long-term planning, such as setting priorities, career decisions, and lifestyle choices that align with both partners' values and desires
No More One-Size-Fits-All Relationship Advice
The problem with many traditional relationship coaching programs is that they offer cookie-cutter solutions that may have worked for someone else, but don't resonate with the intricacies of your unique relationship. When you're looking for support tailored to your specific needs, struggles, and personalities - both individually and as a couple - it can feel frustrating only to receive generic tips that lack depth and understanding.
The Enneagram offers a fresh approach to relationship coaching, one that dives deep into the heart of your specific relationship dynamics, uncovers the root causes of your challenges, and provides you with personalized strategies for growth and connection.
The Compatible Couple™ Enneagram Experience
A 4-Week Program for Couples to Feel Heard and Understood
Each experience starts with a typing interview for each partner in Session 1 with an overview of the common synergies and possible challenges with that particular Enneagram pairing. The remainder of the program will focus each week on one of the 3 C's of a compatible couple.
- Session 2 -
Studying Each Other's Top Type
Inside this session, you'll review common communication preferences and styles using insight from each of your Enneagram types. Each partner will also have a chance to share and discuss anything else the other should be aware of when it come communicating in a loving, accepting, and productive way.
You may end up talking about text messaging preferences, body language observations, day-to-day, "routine" communication, or about navigating more difficult conversations about the relationship.
The intention of this session is to leave with:
- an understanding of your own style - what works, and what may not
- a deeper knowledge about your partner's style to help avoid misunderstandings and blaming
- specific recommendations for improving communication
- an identified area or action you'd each like to practice in between sessions
- Session 3 -
Subtypes and Core Values
Your Enneagram type is the core strategy you use to get your most important needs met. Your Subtype shines light on what those "core needs" are.
In week Three, you'll work to identify which Subtype or "flavor" you are. There's three options and the benefit of knowing yours - and your partner's - is to start noticing how these core values might be impacting your ability to get on the same page and feel connected.
1) Self-Preservation (known as Preserving in Enneagram at Work context)
2) Social (known as Navigating in Enneagram at Work context)
3) 1:1 or Sexual (known as Transmitting in Enneagram at Work context)
For example, someone who's dominant in Sexual may be willing to take big risks in their career, jumping into uncertainty and financial instability. If their partner on the other hand, happens to be a Self-Preservation Subtype who values security and certainty, you can start to see the possible disconnect that can unfold.
- Session 4
Review Triggers, Conflict Styles, and Resolutions Tips
No couple will ever be able to completely avoid conflict. In fact, healthy conflict can offer opportunities for growth. The goal isn't to avoid conflict, but rather learn to navigate through it a more healthy and productive way.
Some types are more prone to deal with conflict by shutting down and stonewalling. Others may try to dismiss the issue and put a positive spin on it. And some types might have a tendency to yell more while they "tell it like it is."
Using insight from the Enneagram and recommendations from the Gottmon Institute you'll begin to:
- identify the triggers that most often lead to conflict
- what might be under those triggers leading to the arguments
- specific ways you each tend to approach conflict
- and personalized recommendations for your Enneagram pairing and unique personalities
(4) individual couple sessions dedicated to your relationship - $795
a stronger and happier partnership - priceless
meet your coach
Natalia Hernandez , Certified Enneagram + Relationship Coach, Host of the Enneagram in Love Podcast
New Love. Fresh Perspective. Same Couple.
Natalia specializes in helping couples decide if they should heal, mend, or end their relationship. Her approach incorporates:
- self-awareness using the Enneagram
- learning communication and conflict styles of you and your partner
- understanding your differences and capabilities
- personal responsibility
In this program, Natalia will personalize an experience for you and your partner, covering the 3 C's of being a compatible couple and identifying and understanding your Enneagram types.🎙️Listen to Natalia's Enneagram in Love Podcast
How to Get Started
2. Check Your Email
You'll receive an email from Enneagram MBA with next steps, including a link to book your first session with Natalia and some funwork to be able to get the most out of each session together.
3. Schedule Your First Session
The instructions in your Welcome email will have a link that allows you to book your first session with Natalia at your convenience. In most cases, couples are able to get something on the calendar within 1-2 weeks of enrolling in the program.
4. Complete the "About Us" Pre-Work
To help get the most out of each session, you'll also find a short "About Us" questionnaire in your scheduling link. This will also give you an opportunity to articulate what a successful experience would be for you and your partner so that Natalia can make any adjustments as needed.
"Natalia is a fantastic coach for couples. She made both of us feel heard and understood while helping us see a new perspective. Because of her, we've been able to move past a challenging sticking point and realize we are actually on the same page. Our conversations have gotten clearer because of working with her."
- Amanda and Jeff
A Bonus Gift for You.
After completing the The Compatible Couple clients will receive a copy of our go-to relationship book, The Enneagram in Love along with a couples coffee mug set to remind each other of all of the amazing qualities you each bring to your relationship.SCHEDULE YOUR FIRST SESSION
Any couple can be compatible.
"No one needs to change for your relationship to be great."
What makes a relationship thrive is its foundation - built on understanding and communication.
Sometimes, mending a cracked foundation and the emotions surrounding it, can make you feel discouraged and overwhelmed.
Inside The Compatible Couple, certified Enneagram and relationship coach, Natalia Hernandez is going to show you how simple it can be to get everything back on track.
"The right coach can really change your life. I have had previous experiences with therapy. I did not see the same results even after months of therapy that I saw after only four sessions with you. I came to you at a time when I was doubting myself, my thoughts, my beliefs, and emotions and I got a lot of much needed support and validation.
- Private Relationship Coaching Client
What Are Your #CoupleGoals?
Book your first session with Natalia to start identifying what kind of couple you and your partner are right now, what type of couple do you want to be, and the best way for you to get in there in a way that feels good to you both.Start here