Why Communication Breaks Down at Work (Even on Good Teams)

Have you ever worked with someone who communicates completely differently than you?

Maybe they're incredibly direct, and you find yourself feeling criticized.

Or perhaps you're trying to move an idea forward, and they keep asking questions. You interpret those questions as resistance, while they believe they're helping you think through potential problems.

Neither person necessarily has bad intentions. In fact, both may be trying to accomplish the exact same thing.

But somehow, they're frustrating each other.

One of the biggest misconceptions about workplace communication is that the problem is always a lack of communication.

Sometimes it is. Important information doesn't get shared, expectations aren't clear, or people aren't included in decisions that affect their work.

But other times, everyone believes they're communicating clearly. The challenge is that people are interpreting the same conversation through very different lenses.

And that's where things get interesting.

1. Different Priorities Shape What We Hear

Imagine your team is discussing a new project.

One person immediately starts thinking about deadlines and how quickly the team can move forward.

Another wants to make sure the details are accurate.

Someone else is wondering whether the team has enough time and resources to take on something new.

And another person wants to know who needs to be involved in the decision.

Everyone is sitting in the same meeting, discussing the same initiative. But their attention is going to completely different places.

These differences can create friction when we assume everyone should prioritize the same information.

The person asking about resources may be labeled negative. The person pushing for a decision may seem impatient. The colleague asking who else needs to be involved may appear to be slowing things down.

But each person could be contributing something valuable.

Try asking: What are you paying attention to that I might be overlooking?

That question alone could change the direction of a conversation.

2. We Confuse Communication Style With Intention

Think about someone who communicates very directly.

They may believe they're being helpful by getting straight to the point, eliminating confusion, and saving everyone time.

But someone receiving that message might experience their directness as impatience, criticism, or even disrespect.

Neither person necessarily realizes there's a disconnect.

The same thing happens with people who ask a lot of questions.

One person may ask questions because they want to understand the details and anticipate potential challenges. Another person hears those questions and assumes their colleague doesn't support the idea.

This is something we explore frequently in Enneagram MBA workshops: The intention behind a behavior isn't always the same as the impact it has on someone else.

Understanding that distinction creates an opportunity to communicate differently without requiring either person to change their personality.

Try asking: How might someone else be interpreting what I'm saying, even if my intentions are good?

3. We Have Different Expectations That Nobody Talks About

What does it mean when someone says they need something as soon as possible?

For one person, that means within the hour.

For someone else, it means by the end of the day.

And another person might interpret it as sometime before the end of the week.

We often assume our expectations are obvious because they're obvious to us.

The same thing happens with feedback, meetings, decision-making, and accountability.

Some people want feedback immediately, while others prefer time to process it. Some consider a meeting successful when a decision gets made. Others feel the meeting was productive because everyone had an opportunity to contribute.

When those expectations remain unspoken, teams can become frustrated with one another without fully understanding why.

Try asking: What does a successful outcome look like to each of us, and what expectations do we need to clarify?

Sometimes improving communication is less about developing a new skill and more about making the invisible expectations visible.

4. We Respond to Tension Differently

Every team experiences tension. It's part of working with people who have different responsibilities, priorities, and perspectives.

But not everyone responds to tension the same way.

Some people want to address an issue immediately. They'd rather have the uncomfortable conversation and move forward.

Others need time to think, gather information, or process how they're feeling before responding.

Some become more direct under pressure. Others withdraw, try to keep the peace, or look for ways to reduce the tension.

Without understanding these differences, we can make assumptions about what those reactions mean.

We might interpret someone's need for space as avoidance. Or mistake another person's urgency for aggression.

The challenge isn't necessarily that one approach is right and the other is wrong. It's learning how to navigate those differences in a way that helps the team move forward.

Try asking: What helps you have a productive conversation when there's disagreement or tension?

This is a question worth discussing before the next difficult conversation happens.

5. We Make Assumptions About What's Driving Other People

This may be the most important one.

When someone behaves in a way we don't understand, our brains are quick to fill in the blanks.

They're being difficult.

They don't trust me.

They always need to be in control.

They don't care enough.

But we rarely know the full story behind someone else's behavior.

This is one of the reasons I love using the Enneagram in the workplace.

Rather than focusing only on what people do, the Enneagram gives us a framework for exploring what might be motivating the behavior underneath.

Someone who asks detailed questions may be seeking clarity or reassurance. Someone focused on results may be motivated by a desire to contribute and accomplish something important. Someone who avoids conflict may be trying to preserve relationships or maintain stability.

These aren't excuses for behavior, and they certainly aren't rules for how people of a particular Enneagram type will act.

They're opportunities to become more curious.

Try asking: What might be important to this person that I'm not recognizing?

Curiosity doesn't solve every workplace challenge. But it can help us approach people with fewer assumptions and more understanding.

How the Enneagram Helps Teams See What's Underneath

At Enneagram MBA, we use the Enneagram as a shared language for exploring these kinds of differences.

Our approach, based on the Awareness to Action model, considers two dimensions:

The nine Enneagram types, which offer insight into the core motivations and patterns that influence how people experience the world.

The three Instinctual Biases, which help explain where people naturally direct their attention and energy:

• Preserving / Resources: Attention to practical needs, capacity, and what's sustainable.

• Navigating / Roles: Attention to relationships, social context, and how people fit and participate within a group.

• Transmitting / Reach: Attention to expression, influence, and making an impact.

These dimensions can help explain why two people of the same Enneagram type may communicate very differently - and why people approach the same workplace situation with different priorities.

But the goal isn't to memorize nine personality types or three instincts.

It's to notice our patterns, understand what might be driving them, and learn how to translate that awareness into better interactions.

The Enneagram gives teams a language. It's what they do with that language that matters.

What We're Hearing From Teams

Before our workshops, we ask employees about their team dynamics, frustrations, and what they'd like to improve.

Communication regularly comes up, but not always in the ways you might expect.

Some employees describe frustration when information doesn't reach the right people. Others mention unclear expectations, different approaches to work, or difficulty navigating conversations across departments.

After workshops, we ask what participants plan to apply in their professional relationships.

And that's where we hear some encouraging reflections.

People describe wanting to listen more intentionally, consider how their messages might be received, ask better questions, and adapt their communication to different colleagues.

One participant summed it up this way:

“Putting myself in their shoes more. Communicate with others, the way THEY like.”

I love that because it captures something important.

Better communication isn't necessarily about getting everyone else to communicate the way we prefer.

Sometimes the most useful shift is recognizing that we have a role in making communication work for the other person, too.

Of course, intending to communicate differently isn't the same as demonstrating long-term change. But those reflections offer a starting point for teams to continue practicing what they've learned.

Three Questions to Ask at Your Next Team Meeting

You don't need an entire training program to begin having more useful conversations about communication.

At your next team meeting, try asking everyone these three questions:

1. What helps you receive information clearly?

Do you prefer the big picture first? Written details? Time to process? An opportunity to talk through ideas?

2. What's one communication habit you have that others might misunderstand?

Maybe you're quiet when you're thinking. Perhaps you ask a lot of questions, move quickly toward solutions, or become more direct when you're under pressure.

3. What's one thing we could do differently to make communication easier across our team?

Encourage specific answers. Rather than committing to communicate better, identify one practice the team can try in meetings, project handoffs, feedback conversations, or daily interactions.

These questions can open up conversations that many teams don't make time to have.

And they help people begin developing a shared language for working together.

Better Communication Doesn't Always Mean More Communication

We have more ways to communicate than ever before.

Emails. Messaging platforms. Video calls. Project management tools. AI-generated summaries.

All of those can make work more efficient. But they don't automatically mean we're understanding one another better.

Sometimes the most valuable thing we can do is become more aware of the people on the other side of those conversations.

What matters to them? How might they be interpreting what we're saying? What could we do differently to make working together easier?

Better communication doesn't always require saying more. Sometimes it starts with understanding more.

Bring Better Communication to Your Team

At Enneagram MBA, we facilitate interactive team communication workshops that help colleagues explore different working styles, recognize common misunderstandings, and develop a shared language for working better together.

Whether you're planning a standalone workshop, an ongoing team development experience, or training across multiple departments, we'd love to help you explore what's possible.

Explore Team Communication Training & Workshops