The Parenting Issue: Understanding People #002Jul 23, 2022
The Parenting Issue: Understanding People (including Kids!) Vol. 002
"We are the common denominator in our relationships so to learn about ourselves and care for ourselves is really the best thing we can do for the people in our lives."
Yesterday, was this sweet (and saucy) boy's 9th birthday.
And, 9 years I've been a mom.
It got me thinking about my own parenting journey - what I've learned, how I've changed, and what I still struggle with.
As someone who identifies with an Enneagram Type 7, some of those current struggles look like...
- staying committed to the sticker chart
- allowing him to be in a bad mood
- knowing when it's okay to break the rules - and when it's not
- ...and I hate being the "bad guy.
The Enneagram has been a very helpful resource in understanding those repeat challenges and how to navigate through them, and there's so many other great tools and advice that I've learned from too.
Whether you have kids of your own or are re-parenting your inner child, below are 5 resources that have benefited me (plus the Brainy Moms podcast above!)
Defining the True Meaning of Discipline
[to instruct, not shout, shame, or punish] This is a new one I just recently read. It's been helpful to better understand going on inside my son's brain (or yours when you were a kid) and what are logical, grounded-in-science, expectations of him vs. how I wish he would behave and get upset when he doesn't. It's made me stop and reflect on my own emotional control (often lack of) and put myself in his shoes. Before shelling out timeouts or taking things away, this book is helping me question what's really going and what's the lesson to teach rather than punishment to serve. Get it here.
Understand How You Parent
When we gain more self-awareness about our parenting style and where it comes from, it can help us to become better parents. Seeing life through the filters of our Enneagram type lets us connect with our children in a healthy and more conscious way.
Ann Gadd, the author here, has been a past guest on the Enneagram MBA podcast talking about Sex and the Enneagram. I always enjoy and get so much from her take on how to apply the 9 types to real life. Find her parenting book here.
Do schools kill creativity?
Sir Ken Robinson's TED Talk on challenging the way we educate children has been viewed over 73 million times. I think this same questioning and rethinking how people learn and thrive can also be applied at work.
Science-based journals for raising confident and growth-minded kids
I follow this brand on Instagram and their weekly newsletters. I always get one tip, idea, or fresh perspective that helps me understand my son better. We also got one of their journals, and while the intention of writing it in every night has slipped a bit over the summer, we still use it to inspire fun questions and interesting discussions.
Anna Skates describes herself as a Mister Rogers wannabe and a parent mindset shifter. She helps both children develop social + emotional skills and parents and caregivers create more peaceful relationships with the children in their lives. I really enjoy following her on Instagram too.
There's many many great books, experts, and tools out there to help us better understand kids and heal from our own childhoods. What resources have been helpful to you?
Share your favorites with me at [email protected]
I always love hearing from you.
Until next week,
Sarah, Enneagram MBA
Whenever you are ready, there are 4 ways I can help you:
1) Entertain or inform at your next event with an Enneagram speaker here.
2) Improve communication, reduce conflict, and maximize potential on your team inside an Enneagram workshop. Check out the current menu here.
3) Navigate a career change or business pivot with important insight about your personality here.
4) Uncover your dominant Enneagram type and identify specific ways to start using it at work and home here.
Get 5 resources for influencing and interacting with people at work.
Understanding People is a free weekly newsletter sent out each Saturday morning with Enneagram insights, self-awareness how-to, book recommendations, and human behavior research to help you build healthy relationships, inspire others to action, and live the best version of yourself.