The Conflict Issue: Understanding People Vol. #011

🎙️Part 4 of the Personality Assessment Series on the Enneagram MBA Podcast 🎙️

In case you can't tell from this gif above, you're in for a lot of fun with this week's guest, Nancy Marmolejo, Owner of Talent & Genius (and Type 7).

We talked all about your DiSC style and how it can be used with your Enneagram type.

When you listen in, you'll learn about the 4 DiSC styles and how to identify yours, how to use it in your own growth, and how to use that insight in building happier and more productive relationships at work.

The 4 DiSC Styles:

• Dominance (do you recognize any Type 3 and 8 energy here?)
• Influence (ots of 7 energy in this one)
• Steadiness (quite a bit of Type 2, 6, and 9 energy)
• Conscientiousness (some Type 1 and 5 energy here)

The only Enneagram type that I didn't see a direct DiSC Style correlation with was the Type 4 (which you probably appreciate :)), but what do you think? Where do you see the Four energy show up on the DiSC?

And more importantly, where do you see yourself? After you listen to the show, what did you learn about how that overlaps (or doesn't!) with your Enneagram type?

LISTEN HERE 🎧

Speaking of styles...

🥊The 3 Styles for Handling Conflict at Work✌️

Imagine how frustrating it can be to work with someone who is constantly "over-reacting" to issues at work.

Or on the flip side, how annoying it can be to simply want to vent and get something off your chest, but your boss or teammate immediately wants to jump into problem solving mode without fully listening.

Or when people are being "too negative" and making a problem out of something that shouldn't be a problem.

When you see the different ways people perceive and then handle conflict, it makes sense why sometimes there can be so much miscommunication and unproductive conflict with others.

💡The ah-ha with my own conflict style

As someone who identifies most with the Type 7 energy, the Positive Outlook style is so spot on it's scary. When I learned more about this part of the Enneagram, I could also see the competency style of wanting to problem solve show up occasionally.

I also realized that I tend to struggle navigating conflict the most with those who have strong, intense feelings. In the moment, it can feel very overwhelming.

In my own personal development work, I've realized most of those people just want to be heard and have their experiences acknowledged and understood, but never wanting my "it could always be worse!" pep talk.

What about you?

What's your go to strategy for navigating challenges or conflict?

Which style is most frustrating to you?

*Reminder: There is no best or right style :) Each one can serve us and also has the ability to sabotage us.

Read on to get an overview of each one if you don't yet know your type's go-to style.

 COMPETENCY  |  TYPES 1, 3, 5

"Data, not drama" is the motto here. More than any type, they want to truly solve the problem –in the most efficient and practical way. 

The tendency for this style is to respond to conflict and difficulty with rational thinking. 

They usually see emotions as clouding judgement and preventing objective solutions.

Most of the time, these types expect themselves and others to put aside emotions to solve problems like mature, sensible adults, using data, logic and knowledge.

 If this is you, remember: Rules and logic alone can’t solve all the world’s problems. Keep in mind the feelings of others and the human impact. You can’t solve emotional problems in only rational and logical ways. It’s important to deal with the emotional side too.

EMOTIONAL REACTIVITY  |  TYPES 4, 6, 8 

These types usually have strong opinions and a desire to share where they stand --- and want to know where others stand.

The tendency for this style is to respond to conflict and difficulty by reacting emotionally. 

They can struggle to contain their emotions and feel the need to "vent." Sometimes they expect others to see the problem as big as they do and want them to have the same level of reaction.

 If this is you, remember: Some types have a harder time dealing with negative or painful feelings. Don’t expect the other person to react as you do. Some people truly are not comfortable expressing their feelings, but it doesn't mean they don't care.

 POSITIVE OUTLOOK  |  TYPES 2, 7, 9

In the middle of a difficult situation, you may find them seeking out the glimpse of hope and the pieces of good news, no matter how small.

Those with this style have a tendency to respond to conflict and difficulty by adopting a positive attitude and reframing disappointment and bad news with some kind of silver-lining thinking.

For the most part, they have a glass is half-full view, rose-colored glasses outlook.

This style of conflict will usually avoid acknowledging a conflict exists and may run away from feeling badly about themselves. This drives their desire to reframe any situation into a brighter, more optimistic one.

 If this is you, remember: Beware of toxic positivity. Saying things like - “Look on the bright side!" “It’ll be fine,” or “Everything happens for a reason!” – can actually make the difficult situation worse by minimizing others' feelings and experiences.

NEW FALL OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK TOGETHER 

•  Bring the Enneagram to a team retreat or company holiday party with a Better Together or Plans with Personality workshop here. 

•  Use the Enneagram in your hiring or new team member onboarding process with assessments and consulting services here.

•  Dedicate time to learn about and study yourself inside Around the Enneagram in 80 Days here.

•  Host an Enneagram topic at your fall conference or 2023 event with topics like The Ways Women Lead and Ethically Moving People to Yes here.

So, where did you land? Did your Enneagram type overlap with with your go-to strategy for handling conflict? Or was there another style that felt more true?

There are several reasons why that might be the case- stress, a strong wing influence, subtypes, etc, but the main thing is understanding where you are now and any adjustments or intentionality you'd like to add in to your mix. 

If there's something else you think would enjoy this week's issue, please share with them. 

I'll see you back here next week. Until then, have a great weekend! 

Sarah - Enneagram MBA